


I'm Sorry

by brightdreamer



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Hurt!Barry, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spoilers, s02e06 follow-up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 03:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5189669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightdreamer/pseuds/brightdreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cisco is feeling personally responsible for what happened to Barry in the fight against Zoom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Yep I couldn't resist writing a little Barrisco scene after this episode. Major spoilers for s02ep06!

Barry was so still on the hospital bed, surrounded by tubes and wires and bandages, only the slight rise and fall of his chest indicating he was still alive. All the blood had been cleaned away, his skin sterile and clean now, bandages fresh and white as the sheets surrounding him. Monitors beeped softly, tracking heartrate, breathing, oxygen, assuring he was still living. He’d finally fallen asleep again, pain and exhaustion winning out over his will.

Cisco should have left hours ago, should be home sleeping in his own bed, but he couldn’t leave. Not now, not yet. His head hurt, he was exhausted, but he still couldn’t leave. Not when Barry was lying here again because of him, because of what he’d invented… helped invent. Sitting in a chair by Barry’s bed, he curled his fingers on the blanket near Barry’s legs.

 _“I can’t feel my legs…!”_ Barry’s frightened, shocked words still echoed in Cisco’s ears. He hadn’t seen this coming, none of his new powers could have prevented this. All of his modifications to the Flash suit and all of his science couldn’t help Barry if he couldn’t walk.

“I’m sorry…” Cisco said quietly, if only to break the silence of the room. “I’m really sorry, Barry.” He bit his lip, not wanting to wake his sleeping friend, but once started, the words couldn’t stop, the ache in his chest a dam about to break. “This is my fault. I shouldn’ta gone along with it, shouldn’ta made that thing.” He swallowed past the lump in his throat and went on. “We joked about it, right? Sergeant Slow, and all. I said I wouldn’t make any more weapons, not that would hurt you, but here you are again, hurt because of me.” His fingers crept over, brushing against and then curling around Barry’s fingertips as they lay still on the blanket.

“And now you… you’re…” Cisco’s voice choked and his vision blurred, and he angrily swiped his free hand across his eyes. “I don’t know what to do, I can’t help you like this. I can’t do anything. I’m sorry, dammit, I’m sorry…”

A soft squeeze on his fingers snapped his attention back, and he blinked away the threatening tears to focus on Barry’s… open eyes, staring at him sleepily. “Why are you apologizing?”

“Crap… sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up, you should be sleeping,” Cisco pulled his hand away from Barry’s, sniffling and quickly rubbing his arm across his face again, hoping to hide the evidence. “D’ya need some painkillers or anything? I can go wake up Caitlin, I think she was working on something to help, even with your super-metabolism and all…” He started to stand, but was stopped by Barry reaching out to grasp his hand again.

“I heard you, Cisco,” Barry said softly, and Cisco felt his heart sink into his stomach. He swallowed hard, but didn’t pull his hand away from Barry’s, allowing himself to be pulled back to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Wh-what did you hear?” Maybe Barry hadn’t heard much. Maybe he’d only heard the last bit. Maybe he hadn’t heard Cisco pouring his heart out and crying over his injured body. Maybe Cisco wouldn’t sink through the floor and die of embarrassment.

Barry sighed and rubbed his thumb over Cisco’s knuckles. “I dunno. Mostly I heard you blaming yourself for me being like this.” He smiled sadly, and Cisco felt his heart break just a little more.

“It’s true though, isn’t it?” Cisco’s throat was tight, and his eyes were stinging again. “If I hadn’t… hadn’t gone along with it, hadn’t made that... that gun, you’d be okay. You wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t be hurt again.”

Barry frowned, his brow furrowing, and Cisco bit back a sob that wanted to escape. This was worse than when he’d given away Barry’s identity to Cold… worse than when he’d built the cold gun… worse than anything he’d done before. But Barry was still holding his hand, his fingers moving in soft, soothing patterns, and he wasn’t… angry?

“Cisco, I was kinda out of it at the end there,” Barry began slowly, green eyes searching for Cisco’s. “I don’t remember much, with Zoom dragging me around. But I remember that you were the one who saved me… shot Zoom in the back, right? If you hadn’t invented a way to shoot that speed inhibitor, I’d be dead right now.”

“But…” Cisco started to protest, but Barry tugged on his hand again and shook his head.

“No buts. C’mon.” A faint smile, still pained and sad, but hopeful. “I need you to help me get back on my feet now, right? Literally…” Barry laughed quietly, but Cisco could see the fear lingering in his eyes. He desperately wanted to hug him, but all the tubes and wires and bandages and everything else wrapped around Barry would get in the way but he couldn’t _not_ touch him right now. Leaning forward, carefully, he braced his arm on the bed and touched his forehead to Barry’s, feeling the warmth of his slightly feverish skin, the faint hint of sweat as his body worked overtime to repair itself.

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he murmured, closing his eyes. “I swear... and I won’t ever make anything that’ll hurt you again, okay? I promise. You’ll get better and you’ll beat him and everything’s going to be okay.”

Cisco intended to pull away, but Barry’s fingers carded lightly through his hair, holding him in place. “I trust you.” The words were soft, barely a whisper, but Cisco shivered with the weight of their meaning. He drew back just enough to focus on Barry’s eyes, shining bright but clear.

“Okay. Okay.” The moment hung between them, seconds lingering and Cisco was suddenly very aware of how close he was to Barry, only a breath separating their lips, Barry’s gaze still holding his, open and vulnerable and his own heart was pounding and the beeps on the machine were speeding up too…

Sucking in a deep breath, Cisco pushed himself back, sitting upright on the edge of the bed. _Wow this is **so** not the right time, dude._ “So… you should get back to sleep and get to healing up, yeah?” He slid off the bed and onto the chair, leaning back and running both hands through his hair.

Barry breathed in shakily as well, but nodded. “Yeah, sounds like a good plan.” His eyes promised more, later, but he seemed to understand the poor timing as well. Sighing, he shifted on the bed and settled back on the pillows. “You’re staying?”

“Not going anywhere,” Cisco confirmed, scooting his chair closer to the bed.

“‘kay…” Barry already seemed on the verge of drifting back off. As his eyes slipped closed, however, he turned his hand on the bed, palm-up on the blanket, open and waiting.

Cisco didn’t hesitate. He reached out, curling his fingers around Barry’s, holding them tight and feeling Barry squeeze back in response. Even as Barry’s grip slackened as he drifted off into sleep, he didn’t let go.

 

 


End file.
